Labels

I Love You (3) lagu fav (1) perasaan (38) TTC (44)

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Pati Delima Gulsan + Sk Khisbun

Since last 2 cycles, walaupun i dah break dari treatment hospital tapi still juga cuba ikhtiar-ikhtiar yang lain...

1. Pati delima gulsan - beli kat Pasar Malam Putrajaya. RM 15 sebotol...so far dah setengah botol i minum...1 sudu setiap malam selepas makan. tak de masalah sebab suka dengan rasa dye yang masam-masam tu...

2. SK Khisbun - yang ni dapat idea dari B&C...dari segi rasa ok, sebab rasa biasa macam coffee 3 in 1 tu cuma lebih mild rasa kopinya dan lebih rasa creamer..cuma ada bau2 herba sikit yg agak kuat sebab ada campuran habbatus sauda dan herba2 lain. Boleh lah nak minum, cuma biasanya saya akan "bilas" tekak dengan air masak banyak2 sebab nak hilangkan rasa loya..

Pengalaman pertama minum~ minggu pertama tu rasa badan panas sikit...lepas tu ok kot..tapi memang saranan ambil SK ni kena banyakkan minum air masak.Oh ya, saya amik COD dari suppliernya. Kebetulan pembekal yang B&C suggest tu tinggal di kawasan saya. Wife dye dulu TTC gak, pastu cuba SK ni alhamdulillah berjaya pregnant after 4 years, lepas tu terus jadi dealer..

3. Buah zuriat pemberian ibu saudara saya yang pulang dari Mekah masih tersimpan rapi dalam laci...tak tau la bila nak cuba yang ini plak...

That's all for now..

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Nightmare!!

Its a night mare!!

When every women around you are pregnant except you!!

Too scary too think!!


Maybe i think too much when i received the news from my mum that my SIL is 2 months pregnant with her 2nd baby...when my first nephew is just 1 and half years old..

Think too much till it disturbs my dreams and become nightmare..

I told myself to be okay with it...

but it just too difficult....

Hmmmm....
Seems like my mind theraphy doesn't go smoothly very well...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Pesanan seorang Ayah

Kata ayah...

"Allah itu adil..
  Setiap doa tu pasti akan dikabulkan..
 Ada yang dikabulkan cepat...
 Ada yang dikabulkan lambat..
 Dan ada yang hanya akan dikabulkan di akhirat nanti...
 Yang pasti setiap benda baik yang kita minta pasti akan dikabulkan..
 Jadi jangan berhenti berdoa dan jangan berputus asa "


Itu pesan sang ayah pada puterinya yang sedang berwajah mendung, semendung langit yang bakal menumpahkan hujan pada bila-bila masa...

Terima kasih ayah....
walau ego mu tinggi tak mampu menyapu air mata yang mengalir di pipi puterimu...
Namun kata-katamu sudah cukup untuk menyejukkan hati puterimu ini....





Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Am Tired


Last Month Cycle Treatment - 100 mg Clomid (increase 50 mg)
FT on Day 8-10 : 3 follicles  which develops beautifully ...
Day 12 - 14 : uses Ovolution Prediction Kit (OPK) to detect ovolution...and BD alternate day as been prescribe by DR.
Day 14: Double line..on OPK!
Day 28: bunga-bunga matahari..
Day 29: AF..Day 1 starts again..


Memandangkan iktiar bulan lepas dengan tambahan dos clomid dan cadangan IUI yang telah bertukar menjadi SI tetap gagal..of course i sangat-sangat sedih...sebab SCIENTIFICALLY, everything is correct to make me pregnant..but AGAIN, it is still GOD who decides...and HE said its not meant for us yet..

Since the next step DR suggested is to proceed with IUI procedure and with the condition in Hospital Putrajaya is still not proper, so this new cycle, I've decided to take a break from hospital treatment for a while..at least for 3-4 months...or maybe more, maybe less..i do not know when will I find the needs to start medical treatments again...
All the pills and injections, all the things that need timely calculation and it had been almost a year i have to "ulang alik" went to the hospital.. all the hardwork and struglging..i must say i am tired...i just need a break..

Meanwhile, i will looking for alternative treatment~inner strength treatment, I will just pray and pray and never stop praying..
Because miracles can only happens with ALLAH blessing and permissions...
Not by other mean...

And yes, i feel more calm today..
dont know why..

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Official reply from Hospital Putrajaya

Formal reply from Hospital Putrajaya.. Actually dah terima agak lama cuma tak sempat nak masukkan di sini.

hmmm, seems like ada good news kan....tapi kena sabar menunggu juga pada semua yang jalani treatment di Hospital Putrajaya...





Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Anak itu pakej...

On the way ke KL dengan my immediate bos, dalam hujan lebat dan trafic yang perlahan, macam-macam perkara..

Termasuk my progress on the treatment. Then dye cakap, dye dulu pun lambat gak dapat anak. Nak masuk 3 tahun kahwin baru dapat yang sulung. Yang kedua dan ketiga pun selang 5 tahun setiap satu, tu pun puas makan ubat nak bagi lekat katanya.

Satu pesanan yang paling saya terkesan adalah:-

Dengan lemah lembut dye cakap,"H*****, anak ni sebenarnya datang dengan satu pakej lengkap dari Allah."

Saya diam, tak berapa nak faham.."Pakej? Pakej macam mana tu puan?"

"Yela, ada gembiranya, ada sedihnya, ada suka, ada duka. Ramai yang hanya ingat kegembiraan or keseronokkan tentang anak, tapi bila anak menangis, buat perangai dll mula la pulak tak tahan la..silap hari bulan boleh bergaduh suami isteri"

I cuma senyum je..betul jugak..selama ni hanya terbayangkan alangkah seronoknya jika ada anak..nak buat macam ni macam tu, nak beli itu beli ini..tak terfikir lagi tentang macam mana nak menangani karenah nya...anak tu pun ada moodnya...

Kebetulan Blog A simple Life pula ada cerita yang hampir berkaitan dengan perkara ni..


Salam kwn2...rasa nak berkongsi apa yg sy dpt td dr seorang ustazah..lebih kurang mcm ni bunyinya..

"Kalau kita diberi peluang utk menjadi seorang ibu/ayah..pastikan setiap hembusan & sedutan nafas kita tidak diiringi dengan dosa..pastikan kita didik anak itu betul2 ke jalan yg benar, ke jalan yg diredhai Allah..sesungguhnya, ibubapa akan menanggung kejahilan seorang anak andai kita tidak mendidik mereka dgn betul...bayangkan byk mana dosa yg akan kita tanggung hingga hujung nyawa..jgn ambil mudah soal pendidikan agama, ajarlah anak2 dr hal yg kecik2 sehinggalah yg besar, dari cara amik wudhu' sehinggalah kpd yg halal & haram..pastikan anak takut pada dosa, takut pada neraka.."

"Bila kita pandang org takde anak, kadang2 kita berasa beruntungnya mereka..sbb Allah tak bebankan mereka dgn dosa2 sebegini.."

Sayu hati sy dgr nasihat ini...tiba2 rasa sgt2 lapang & redha dgn ujian ini...ya kwn2, Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yg terbaik utk kita...kita hanya mampu berusaha..yg menentukan Allah...pasti ada hikmah disebalik semua ini..mungkin kita masih belum dikurniakan anak kerana Allah tahu kita belum betul2 bersedia utk mendidik anak ke jalanNya..

Jgn kita bandingkan kita dgn org lain yg nampak tak seberapa, tp dikurniakan anak berderet..belum tentu lagi dia beruntung @ tidak...kita tak nampak dosa & pahala yg terheret pd diri mereka..jadi, bersyukurlah dgn apa jua keadaan & ujiaan yg Allah tentukan pd kita..

Wallahua'lam.."


Ya Allah, sungguh rasa macam nak menangis masa baca entry dari blog ni...
Zuriat itu anugerah, zuriat itu amanah...
Tanpa zuriat juga adalah anugerah...
Dengannya ada pahala, tanpanya juga ada ganjaran di sana....
Again...setiap perkara dari Allah itu ada hikmahnya yang tersendiri...
Walau perkara yang sama, situasi berbeza
Tapi...
Hikmah Ya Rabbi tetap sama...





Wednesday, October 31, 2012

My BFF is pregnant

One of my bff CT (story dye ada kat sini) msg me telling that she is 6 weeks pregnant..
She has been TTC'ing for four years...we share a lot of things together in this TTC journey.. i think she is the only person that I've talked about TTC in real life, beside my hubby..
Of course I am happy for her..When she told me, i pulak yang rasa happy and sebak. Indeed, it make me happier to hear a TTC friend gets pregnant than usual friends...rasa nak menangis pun ada. Alhamdulillah...praying for everything will be safe for her and her baby...She said this is not the end, but actually a new beginning..

As for me,
Seriously my emotion and mental are more stable now compare to previous year...maybe kalau dulu i mungkin jadi "meroyan" bila dengar orang di sekeliling i preganant..but now, im more ok..
Biar lah, tu rezeki they all..
And selalunya juga, baru i perasan, bila je i tensen dgn cerita org pregnant, Allah mesti akan bagi i rezeki lebih...
Contohnya yang nilah..my BFF msg about the news, then a few hours later, i got order...
Macam Tuhan nak bagi reminder to me, He might not give me that rezqi but He is sending me the rezqi in other form...So be thankful...

I dah tak kisah dah apa orang nak cakap...and i dah tau macam mana nak "lawan" emosi bila orang bercakap pasal kita...
And i dah tak ambil peduli pasal orang-orang yang suka menyakitkan hati i...i only care about my heart feeling...macam tu i dah tak tensen and stress lagi dah...
And this journey juga telah mematangkan diri I ni and appreciate life more than ever...
Yang penting my hubby is there to support me...






Wednesday, October 24, 2012

IUI to SI

Semalam adalah follow up check up..Seperti cadangan Dr, suppose this cycle nak proceed with IUI..

And me and hubby had discussed it over and over about this matter but hubby is refused to do it in the toilet..
And i have to respect his decision as this is our journey together not only mine..
So we have discussed a few options such as 
1) do it at home/nearest hotel and send it to the hospital..
2) try to do it in other hospitals...

Yesterday results,
i have three - four follicles on the right ovary...better than previous months result yang cuma ada 1-2-tak ada langsung...(tihihihi..tetiba berangan nak twins, boleh?), left-null..

So Dr kata boleh la nak proceed IUI as been planned. So i asked whether it is possible that my hubby do "it" at home and send it here. Ok, the idea was rejected totally as she said," Nanti sampai sini, semua dah mati mcm ada patient tu, nanti waste je"...

Ok...

But she said it is up to us..it is our decision. She suggested that we try naturally again sebab kalau nak buat kat tempat lain, boleh but not this month..."IUI is just a shortcut procedure to help sperms increased the chances to meet ovum"...

Ok...

And she also advised me to try using ovulution kit starts saturday until tuesday so that we can planned the BD more accurately...if still negative on Sunday, then i have to come back again for the Hcg injection on Sunday night...

Ok Dr..tq for ur advises...

Oh ya, about my cyst...Dr said nothing to worry, (maybe one of the four follicles is my cyst but the size is not   worrying..

And i did asked about special treatment room for hubbies...
One of the Senior Dr mentioned that they are planning to do the renovation for that facilities soon...
Glad to hear that..but Im not sure when or how soon is soon..but at least they have starting doing something about it that could benefit us in the future..

Now, nak g cari Ovulution Kit kat farmasi....



Happy 3rd Anniversary













Today, three years ago..officially u and I are united in a simple solemnization ceremony...



Today, two years ago...instead of celebrating our first anniversary, i was sent away because of work for a week and we didn't have the chance to celebrate it, not till two months later...

Today, a year ago...again, i was away away because of DPA and we didn't celebrate it at all...

Today, I am blessed when i went to sleep yesterday, you are the last face that i saw and when I wake up in the morning, you are the first thing i see...




HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY MY DARLING DEAR

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Reply from Hospital Putrajaya

Received reply from Hospital Putrajaya through email...

Simple but promising...Hopefully..
Especially on the part "tindakan penambahbaikan akan diambil serta-merta"..

Well, i will be waiting to see that happening....


"Salam sejahtera,

Tuan/Puan

Dengan segala hormatnya merujuk kepada perkara tersebut diatas

2. Pihak hospital mengucapkan terima kasih kerana memberi maklumbalas
mengenai perkhidmatan kami.

3. Pihak kami akan meneliti cadangan dan perkara-perkara yang
dibangkitkan oleh pihak tuan/puan dan tindakan penambahbaikan akan
diambil serta- merta kerana hasrat pihak hospital adalah memberi
perkhidmatan yang berkualiti kepada setiap pesakit yang menerima
rawatan di Hospital Putrajaya.

4. Pihak kami menghargai keprihatinan tuan/puan dalam memberi
kerjasama untuk meningkatkan kualiti perkhidmatan kami.
Segala kesulitan yang dialami pihak tuan/puan amat dikesali.

Sekian, terima kasih

"BERKHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA"

Saya yang menurut perintah,

THINAKARIDEVI A/P SHANMUGAM
PEGAWAI PERHUBUNGAN AWAM
HOSPITAL PUTRAJAYA   "

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Letter to Hospital Putrajaya Part 2

This is the draft content of the letter that i sent to Hospital Putrajaya...
Skema kan ayat? Hehehe..been quite a long time since the last time i wrote official letter..

What i wish here is that the government should be more aware on this matter, thus provide appropriate facilities for us..Insya allah...



Assalamualaikum wbt
Salam Sejahtera

YBrs. Dr,

CADANGAN PENAMBAHBAIKAN KE ATAS KLINIK PAKAR OBSTETRIC & GYNECOLOGY (O&G) HOSPITAL PUTRAJAYA

Dengan hormatnya saya merujuk perkara di atas.

2.         Sebagai makluman saya dan suami merupakan sedang menjalani rawatan kesuburan di Hospital Putrajaya semenjak tahun 2011. Kami telah memilih Hospital Putrajaya memandangkan kami tinggal di kawasan Kajang dan bekerja di Putrajaya, ia akan memudahkan kami untuk berulang-alik ke hospital memandangkan proses rawatan kesuburan mengambil masa yang panjang selain kos rawatan yang amat tinggi di hospital swasta adalah di luar kemampuan kami yang sangat inginkan cahaya mata.

3.         Alhamdulillah, sepanjang kami menerima rawatan di sini, kami amat berpuas hati dengan layanan yang diterima daripada para jururawat dan doktor di Klinik O&G, terutama sekali Dr. Suhaila yang selalunya mengambil kes saya dan tidak pernah jemu memberi penerangan, nasihat serta menjawab pelbagai persoalan yang saya utarakan. Pujian harus diberi kepada kakitangan Klinik O&G Putrajaya yang sentiasa ramah, berlemah-lembut dan murah dengan senyuman kepada pesakit, berbeza dengan layanan yang diterima di hospital kerajaan yang lain.

4.         Namun begitu, kami agak terkilan kerana semasa suami diarahkan untuk menjalani ujian sperma, tiada bilik khas disediakan sepertimana di sesetengah hospital lain ataupun di LPPKN. Para suami perlu melakukannya dalam tandas hospital sebelum menyerahkan tabung tersebut ke bilik prosedur A bagi tujuan analisis. Kami dimaklumkan bahawa Hospital Putrajaya belum berkemampuan untuk menyediakan kemudahan tersebut sebagaimana di pusat-pusat rawatan kesuburan yang lain, dan mana-mana pasangan yang menjalani proses rawatan kesuburan di sini (termasuk IUI) akan melalui pengalaman yang sama, dalam bilik tandas.

5.         Pada pendapat kami, adalah tidak rasional apabila pesakit diarah untuk menyediakan benih beliau di dalam tandas bagi prosedur-prosedur rawatan seperti ini yang mana ianya akan digunakan sebagai usaha dalam proses mendapatkan zuriat, dengan izin dariNya jua. Dalam Islam sendiri, tandas atau bilik mandi merupakan tempat yang tidak disukai oleh Allah swt kerana di dalamnya tempat berkumpul segala kekotaran dan syaitan. Kebersihan adalah perkara yang amat dititikberatkan tidak kira agama, maka tidak sepatutnya tempat seperti ini dipilih untuk proses mengeluarkan air mani untuk dijadikan zuriat. Maka, seharusnya perkara ini telah dipertimbangkan sejak mula klinik pakar O&G hendak dibuka di Hospital Putrajaya.

6.         Setelah setahun lebih berlalu, kami berharap perkara ini telah ditambah baik selari dengan label hospital pakar di tengah-tengah Pusat Pentadbiran Kerajaan Persekutuan serta bilangan pesakit infertility yang semakin meningkat di hospital ini. Mungkin juga pihak hospital terlepas pandang akan perkara ini memandangkan golongan pesakit infertility seperti kami yang mendapatkan rawatan kesuburan di hospital kerajaan merupakan golongan minoriti yang menyumbang peratusan kecil dalam bilangan pecahan pesakit.

7.         Sehubungan itu, kami berharap pihak hospital secara khasnya dan pihak kementerian secara amnya untuk lebih peka terhadap keperluan kami. Justeru, kami ingin mencadangkan agar pihak hospital dapat menyediakan bilik khas kepada para suami yang perlu membuat persediaan bagi menjalani proses IUI atau IVF di Hospital Putrajaya sepertimana di sesetengah hospital lain ataupun di LPPKN. Bagi kami, proses mendapatkan zuriat melalui rawatan adalah satu proses yang panjang dan menguji. Sekurang-kurangnya dengan kemudahan yang lebih baik disediakan, dapat memberikan sokongan moral dan motivasi kepada semua pesakit yang menjalani proses IUI dan IVF.

 8.         Sebagai sebuah hospital pakar, perkara ini seharusnya mendapat pertimbangan yang sewajarnya daripada pihak Hospital Putrajaya dan Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia agar reputasi hospital ini selari dengan hospital-hospital pakar yang lain sebagai sebuah pusat perubatan yang menawarkan rawatan kesuburan. Perkara ini dengan hormatnya dicadangkan untuk kebaikan bersama semua pesakit yang mendapatkan rawatan di Hospital Putrajaya.

Sekian, terima kasih.


Signed by me and hubby..


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Letter to Hospital Putrajaya

Letter of suggestion dah siap draf...tinggal nak print and hantar je...

Tapi dah send via email 1 copy td...

Hopefully it will benefit us and all TTCs who are seeking treatment in government hospital...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Planning for IUI

Following the previous entry...

Balik tu I and DH pun meeting la about the result and the next step as Dr suggested..

I pun tanya DH, "U sanggup ke nak buat kat hospital putrajaya?"..actually i dah tau dah jawapannya...since the last time masa kena buat HSA lagi...

Kekurangan Hospital Putrajaya adalah tak ada tempat atau bilik khas untuk para suami macam di LPPKN or hospital private or sesetengah hospital yang lain...DH has to do his "business" in the toilet...

DH: "Tak, they all tak de facilities tu lagi ke?"
Me :" Rasanya tak de lagi kot"
DH: "Then my answer is no..Im not going to use something from the toilet to make my babies...for test, ok."

Hmmm...ye la...i pun setuju...we can accept that our baby making process have to be done in the lab; not through some lovey dovey stuff in a romantic and intimate situation, but to ask my DH to produce his in a toilet, that is something we cant accept..at least a proper and better room; not toilet...

Toilet is for you to poo and pee..even in Islam..tandas tu merupakan tempat yang kotor dan tempat yang disukai syaitan..

I think hospitals in Malaysia should look through about this matter for better service delivery in the future...
I am thinking to write a letter to the hospital or MOH but workload currently are out of hands...but im sure i will write to them about this suggestion..at least in the future it could benefits all TTC who seek treatment in the govt hospitals..

Sebenarnya, hati ini masih berbelah bagi sama ada nak continue atau tak..
And tiba2 plak AF pula dah menjelma semalam sebelum sempat buat keputusan...awal dari yang sepatutnya..maybe kesan Pregnyl bulan lepas kot...

So, the next alternative is to find other treatment centre kalau nak buat IUI jugak..

Tapi nak ke LPPKN sangat jauh di KL plus bila I call tanya, they answered yang I kena start from zero semula, means kena buat ujian darah HSG semua balik...that sounds frustraten to us..

2nd: PPUKM
Dah call juga, okay...cuma perlu dapatkan referal letter dari hospital putrajaya dan bawa  semua laporan perubatan ke PPUKM untuk dapatkan tarikh temujanji...sounds better..

Tapi masalahnya adalah hari ni dah D2...memang la tak sempat kan kalau nak buat appointment untuk IUI kat PPUKM for this cycle...

Harapannya..got to skip this cycle...

Oh ya, kenapa saya tak ke private hospital je?
Jawapannya, saya kurang berkemampuan buat masa sekarang...
Jadi, saya usaha setakat kemampuan diri ini...
Insya allah...


So, ape lagi..book a ticket, lets fly...



Cysts

15 Oktober 2012 (ISnin) : Appointment di O&G Putrajaya

Result: Confirm Cysts saiz 2 x 1.5 cm...

Dr Suhaila kata saiz tu kecil dan tak perlukan operation. And tak mendatangkan apa2 kesan pada diri I ni..

Next: DR suggest untuk proceed IUI plak... and tambah dosage clomid 100mg...

Rasa hati: sedih..nangis (lagi)..rasa cam kosong je...rasa cam semua harapan dah takde..

dah la belah kiri dah block...belah kanan plak ada cyst..what else can be wrong now??


today 1st day of new cycle...

yg pasti jiwa rasa kosong..kosong..kosong...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

New TTC update

As the new cycle started on 22 September, so today is my appointment in Hospital Putrajaya for FT.
Pukul 8.30 tiba..ramainya orang hari ni..ambil no je dah setengah jam lebih sikit..then lapor kat klinik O&G ~ kul 11.00 baru dapat jumpa Dr...the same Dr. for last month treatment, Dr. Suhaila kalau x silap..
Then, FT result ada satu je about 3.2 cm X ??(tak ingat dah)...
Quite big , right?

Dr dah mushkil, is it becouse of the clomid tapi hari ni baru D11..or something else...I dont have cyst record before but she mentioned it can happen..and she went to get second opinion from other Dr...So, disebabkan tak sure adakah itu follicle ataupun cyst..She prescribe me with Pregnyl 10,000 ml, and have to come for check-up on 15th Oct. If it is a follicle, it wont be around anymore on that day, otherwise it might be cyst..

Drop my jar...how can that possibly be?

The last thing i want to hear now is having another problem as addition to my current hard-to-conceive situation ..i feel like crying..could things get worsen each time? What else could be wrong now? Have i not having enough cause in this TTC journey?

Oh yes, actually i don't know why...
Tiba-tiba rasa sangat malas nak go on treatment this month...
Rasa macam," apa nak jadi pun jadilah"..
Even sebenarnya nak pegi appointment pagi tadi, puas hubby pujuk baru i pegi..
bangun pagi semalam dah cakap kat hubby," if i rasa malas nak continue treatment bulan ni boleh tak?"

Entahlah, semuanya serba tak kena..
Actually im having some crisis with my hubby last weekend..
I know most of the time, it was my mistake..
I dont know why, but recently i became more sensitive with what ever he did or said...
Im so vulnerable and easy to cry..even small things can make me sad...
Having those stupid nightmare which interrupted my emotion...

Mood swing....

Rasa macam pasrah je...
Maybe i did something horrible and terrible without realising it..
And thats why maybe God is punishing me for that..

And one point i think i am strong enough to go through this.. full of inspiration and motivation..as i always believe God will never burden something that is beyond your capability...
But at one point, i cried as i feel i can't go on to face this situation yet to accept the fact that i might not have my own babies...


TTC Inspiration Graphic Pick Me Up Thread :  wedding Stronger




Sunday, September 23, 2012

new cycle

New cycle start on Saturday...

Exactly on Day 29...

Which means...

..........................................................


So, start again...

the cycle with clomid...




Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Awareness Ribbon Colors and Their Meanings


Saje mengoogle tentang ribbon and colours..come across something very interesting to me...hmmm, tapi macam tak ada plak awareness ribbon untuk TTC...

"There are many colors and patterns of awareness ribbons in use today. Many causes share colors. Here the huge list of ribbons with different colors and the purposes of the ribbon colors for different societies and affairs.
awareness ribbons
Red = Aids/HIV, alcohol substance and drug abuse (includes inhalents), MADD, DARE, Epidermolysis Bullosa, Disaster relief, love, heart disease (also uses the red dress symbol), Stroke, supraventicular tachycardia, Wolff-parkinson-White Syndrom (WPW), Pro-life, hypertension, Evans Syndrome, Vasculitis, Wegener’s Granulomatosis.
Orange = hunger, leukemia, cultural diversity and racial tolerance, feral cats, motorcycle safety, Multiple Sclerosis, self injury, reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), Support of the Jewish settlements in the Gaza Strip and North Samaria (Israel), skin cancer (with a sun in the center of the loop), Underage Drinking, Deep Vein Thrombosis, Work zone safety, Highway and Road Worker Memorial, Agent Orange exposure, kidney cancer.
Yellow = Support our troops, POW/MIA, suicide prevention, adoptive parents, spina biffida, missing children (amber alert), endometriosis, sarcoma (with or without a sunflower), myxoid liposarcoma, bladder cancer, liver disease, liver cancer, cholangiocarcinomas, hydrocephalus or hydrocephaly, hope in general, boycott Aruba (hope for Natalee), carbon monoxide poisoning, genocide awareness, Victorian Bushfire Disaster 09, osteosarcoma, Ewing’s sarcoma, chondrosarcoma
Green = Tissue and organ donation or transplants, depression (both adults and children), bipolar disorder, mental health, mental illness, eye injuries, Tourette’s Syndrome, bone marrow transplants and donation, Fanconi’s Syndrome, worker and driving safety, Von Hippel Lindau, glaucoma, missing children, leukemia, environment, Fibrodysplasia Ossificans, kidney cancer or kidney disease, neural tube defects, Mitochondrial Disease, growth and rebuilding, Progressiva, Cerebral Palsy, Save Darfur, Stem Cell Research, Neurofibromatosis, Lissencephally, Cornelia de Lange Syndrome, Save The Earth, Go Green, Recycling, Medical Marijuana, Support Family Farms and Rural Communities
Blue = Child abuse prevention, arthritis, gout, free speech, crime victims rights, waterquality, colon cancer, Dysautonomia, hystiocytosis, histiocytosis, Erb’s Palsy, Ankylosing Spondylitis, domestic violence, water safety (flooding, drowning and accidents), Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS), second hand smoke, dystonia, interstitial cystitis, bracial plexus injury, Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) , Alopecia, Reyes Syndrome, education, Steven Johnson Syndrome, short bowel syndrome, Myositis, Anti-bullying, Leukodystrophy, Hurricane Support, Huntington’s Disease, police officers lost in the line of duty (AKA, the Thin Blue Line), Malaria, Syringomyelia, Neurofibromatosis, Sex Trafficking and Slavery, Cri du Chat Syndrome, Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, polio awareness, Primary Immunodeficiency Disease (PIDD), Sensory Processing Disorder (reflex blue shade), Angelman Syndrome, Von Hippel-Lindau, Microcephaly Awareness
(royal blue shade)
Purple = Domestic violence, religious tolerance, animal abuse, the victims of 9/11 (includes police and firefighters), pancreatic cancer, Crohn’s Disease and colitis,
cystic fibrosis, leimyosarcoma, macular degeneration, Sjogren’s Syndrome, fibromyalgia, lupus, sarcoidosis, the homeless, Mucolipidoses, thyroid cancer, ADD,
ADHD, alzheimers, cancer survivor (this is a general color that anyone who has
survived cancer can wear), Pagan pride, Arnold Chiari Malformation, Mucopolysaccharidosis, Hurler Syndrome, children left
unattended in cars, childhood or pediatric stroke, Anti-Gay Bullying (Spirit Day), epilepsy (Purple Day)
White = Innocence, victims of terrorism, peace, right to life, diabetes, hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, sexual assault of students, retinal blastoma, blindness, alzheimers, adoption, bone disease and bone cancer, Osteosarcoma, anti-child pornography on the internet, carbon monoxide poisoning (CO poisoning), post partum depression, survivors, Scoliosis, Anti-stalking, Men working to end men’s violence against women, Holocaust remembrance, Sex trafficking and slavery (efforts via the childrens anti-pornography and men working to end violence against women groups in 55 countries!), poverty, white ribbon with a knot tied in the middle for marriage equality, Gay-teen suicide
Black = Mourning, melanoma, anti-gangs, Anti-terrorism in Spain, narcolepsy, sleep apnea, sleep disorders, POW-MIAs, Primary Billiary Cirrhosis, Amish Support, gun control, accidents (general designation), Black Ribbon Day- a remembrance day for victims of totalitarianism
Brown = Anti-tobacco, colorectal cancer
Gray = Diabetes, hyperglycemia, hypoglycemia, brain cancer, glioblastoma, Parkinson’s, asthma, allergies, end sex trafficking and slavery in the UK
Lime Green – Lymphoma, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Lyme Disease, Muscular Dystrophy, Ivemark Syndrome, Sandhoff Disease, Support for Adoptees Rights to open adoption records that have been sealed, mental health
Teal = Ovarian, cervical, uterine (all gynecological) cancers, food allergies, substance abuse, sexual assault, sexual abuse, Myasthenia Gravis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, agoraphobia, panic or stress disorders (includes PTSD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Fragile X, Batten Disease, Tourette’s Syndrome (TSA designation), MRSA awareness
Turquoise = (teal colored items work too) Native American reparations, interstitial cystitis (IC Network designation), addiction recovery, Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH)
Turquoise With A Zipper = Global Chiari Malformation Awareness
Burgundy (Maroon) = Hospice care, multiple myeloma, cesarian sections, headaches and migraines, adhesions, thrombophilia and other coagulation or blood factor disorders, meningitis, polio survivor, Post-Polio Syndrome, Hughes Syndrome, brain aneurysm, Hirschsprung’s Disease (Congenital Megacolon), children undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with rare disorders or diseases, amyloidosis, hemangioma.
Periwinkle = Eating disorders, pulmonary hypertension, esophageal cancer, stomach cancer, GERD, IBS
Pink = Breast Cancer, Birth Parents, cleft palate, nursing mothers
Hot Pink – Inflammatory breast cancer
Pale Yellow = Spina Bifida
Amber = Appendix Cancer
Peach = Uterine Cancer, Endometrial Cancer, Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency
Cream = Paralysis, spinal cord injuries, spinal diseases or disorders, Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA)
Light Green = Pelvic Pain (chronic), Celiac Disease, STD Awareness, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)
Mint = Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD)
Emerald Green = Homeopathy awareness
Jade = Asian and Pacific Islander campaign by ALC to raise Liver Cancer and Hepatitis B awareness.
Sea Green – Stuttering or stammering awareness.
Light Blue = Prostate cancer, mens health, thyroid disease, lymphedema, Addison’s Disease,Trisomy 18, Velo-Cardio Facial Syndrome, Klinefelter’s Syndrome, hyperaldosteronism, scleroderma, Behcets Disease, Graves Disease, Shprintzen Syndrome, Edward’s Syndrome
Lavender = All cancers (general cancer awareness), epilepsy, hypokalemic periodic paralysis, rett syndrome, Hodgkins lymphoma, foster care or foster parents, infantile spasms, hysterectomy
Orchid (violet) = Testicular cancer
Fuschia (Magenta) = Pro-life, Feminism
Pearl (cream pearl or white pearl) = lung cancer or lung disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Mesothelioma, emphysema, Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia
Silver = The Silver Ribbon Campaign For The Brain? for brain disorders and disabilities – includes Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) , Children with physical or learning disabilities, elderly abuse, stalking
Gold = Childhood Cancer (pediatric cancer), COPD, Embryonal Rhabdomysarcoma, Breast Feeding (The Gold Standard)
Copper = Menkes disease
Clear= Lung Cancer, Lung Disease
Light Baby Pink and Blue = Pregnancy and infant loss, SIDS, Male breast cancer, baby safe haven, amniotic fluid embolism, Hyperemesis Graviduram
Light Pink, White and Light Blue = Group B Strep (newborns)
Red and White = aplastic anemia, Squamous Cell Carcinoma, MDS & other Bone Marrow Diseases (AA&MDSIF designation)
Red and Yellow = Hepatitis C Virus (HCV), Teen abstinence
Red, White and Blue = Patriotism, 9/11 victims, fireworks safety
Red and Blue with a Heart = Congenital Heart Defects (also red,blue and red stripes)
Blue And Yellow = Down Syndrome, designated drivers (The Hero Campaign), Fatty Oxidation Disorders
Blue And Green = Intracranial Hypertension (Pseudotumor Cerebri)
Purple Ribbon with a Red rose = Cystic Fibrosis
Purple Ribbon with a Red Stripe down the middle = Chronic Migraine Awareness
Purple And Green = Hospice And Pallative Care
Purple And Blue = Rheumatoid arthritis, childhood or pediatric stroke
Purple and Yellow = Chemical Injury (all diseases, disorders, pain, discomfort, or hurt etc. arising from exposure to a chemical substance)
Purple And Black = Paranormal Awareness
Purple And Red = Desmoplastic Cancer
Purple Butterfly = Lupus (can just be a purple butterfly symbol), domestic violence (butterfly should be paired with a purple ribbon)
Jigsaw Puzzle Ribbon = Autism, Asperger Syndrome
Prism = Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
Orchid and Orange = psoriasis
Orange and Maroon = Virginia Tech Tragedy
Orange and Green = Ritual abuse, Dual Diagnosis
Orange and Blue= Pediatric Bipolar Awareness (top orange, bottom blue).
Lime Green and Aqua = adult stem cell donor
Teal And Pink = Hereditary Breast Cancer or a combo ribbon for gynecological and breast cancers.
Teal And White = Cervical Cancer
Pink and Gold – Phyllodes Tumors
Black and Pink = Bone Marrow Donor, loss of a daughter
Black and Lt. Blue = Loss of a son (you can also use Black and Navy to indicate an older son)
Black And White = Carcinoid Syndrome Cancer (has zebra stripes), Anti-racism, Anti-corruption
Black White And Black (three stripes) = Vaccine danger
Gold and Black = Platelett donor
Gold and Silver = All hearing or ear related disorders and diseases, Large Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome (LVAS)
Blue and Silver = Living or coping with cancer
Lavender and White (two stripes) = Awareness for Missing and Unidentified Persons
Ivory, Burgundy and Ivory (three stripes) = Oral head and neck cancers, oral squamous cell carcinoma, throat cancer, laryngeal cancer, pharyngeal cancer
Ivory Lace = Osteoporosis
Navy Blue and White Pinstripes = ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), Lou Gehrig’s Disease
Yellow, Lime Green, Orange, Aqua, Hot Pink= Myelodysplastic Syndrome
Orange, Green, Blue, Purple, Yellow = STD awareness
Red White and Red (3 stripes) = Leukemia and Lymphoma
Blue and White = In memory of Columbine, Teen cancer
RAINBOW = Gay pride or rights movement, same sex marriages
Red and Black = Murder victims (both adults and children), Self Harm or Self Injury (ASHIC designation)
Orange and Red = Myeloproliferative Disorders, Polycythemia Vera, Essential Thrombocytosis, Primary or idiopathic Myelofibrosis, myelosclerosis, Chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML)
Blue, White and Pink (3 stripes) = Parental Alienation Syndrome
Teal, Blue, and Pink= Thyroid Cancer (Thyca designation)
Silver, White, Baby Blue, and Baby Pink (colors run left to right along the ribbon)= Congenital Hyperinsulinism
Support Haiti Ribbons= I am currently aware of 4 ribbons in use to show support for Haitian earthquake victims. The colors being used are red, blue and yellow.
1. Red = color for disaster relief
2. Blue = used by West Virginia University
3. Blue and Red = can be a ribbon or heart shaped icon (colors of the Haitian flag)
4. Red, Blue and Yellow ribbons worn at the Golden Globes.
Kaleidoscope pattern = Fluoroquinolone Awareness
Red with a Gold outline = Neonatal Alloimmune Thrombocytopenia (NAIT) Awareness
Yellow and Black with a Red Star in the middle = Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
Source: Crafts n Scraps

Monday, September 17, 2012

Luahan hati



Apa yang aku tulis ini bukan untuk menyalahkan sesiapa, Cuma berharap ada yang lebih memahami situasi kami ini…Cuma luahan hatiku pada insan-insan di luar sana agar lebih memahami apa yg aku dan teman-teman senasib rasa dan apa yang aku alami… Untuk menulis ini sahaja membuatkan aku berfikir berhari-hari..perlu atau tidak? Terus terang, aku perlukan kekuatan untuk menulis kali ini..

Tak terlintas di hati ini untuk cemburu atau iri dengan anugerah orang lain kerana bagi ku setiap rezeki itu adalah anugerah Allah…bila2 Dia boleh bagi dan bila@ juga Dia boleh tarik balik…So, tak payahlah nak bongkak atau sombong dgn anugerah yang diterima..Setiap org ada masalah masing2 tapi perlu ke dicanang kepada semua? Aku percaya tiada satu pasangan pun di dunia ini yang tidak mahukan zuriat sendiri dalam rumah tangga. Tidak aku mempersoalkan rezeki yang satu ini kerana aku amat bersyukur kerana sentiasa dilimpahi rezekiNya dalam bentuk yang lain..Semua orang tak sama, ada yang rezekinya cepat dan ada yang lambat. Some can conceived easily but some are struggling to conceived...10-15% of couples will fall into the second group..

“ Bila nak ada anak sendiri ni?”, “Sampai bila nak berdua je?”.. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya soalan pertama seperti itu amat sukar untuk dihadapi. Bila? Bila ye? Kalau lah jawapannya semudah esok, lusa, bulan depan, tahun depan, bagusnya jika boleh menetapkan sendiri semudah itu…yang pasti jawapan bukan di tangan kami, kalau anda masih percaya pada qada dan qadar Tuhan..seperti mana ajal, maut, jodoh, rezeki yang satu ini adalah rahsia mutlak Yang Maha Esa..

“Zuriat tu pengikat kasih sayang” ~ kenapa? Apakah tanpa zuriat, kami tak boleh memupuk kasih sayang, jika begitu, kenapa ramai pasangan yang sudah mempunyai zuriat tapi masih bercerai-berai?

“Nanti kalau tak ada anak, suami kahwin lain”~ sama juga seperti di atas, apa penentunya jika ada anak suami tak kahwin lain? Kenapa ramai je suami yang dah ada anak cari bini muda? Dan kenapa diletakkan salah itu pada sang isteri, bagaimana kalau suami yang ada masalah~ boleh ke isteri tadi tu kahwin lain juga?

“Apabila hamil, saya rasa hidup telah lengkap sebagai wanita” or "bila mengandung baru lah lengkap diri seorang perempuan tu"…oh ye..ayat ini pun ada dalam cerita Ombak Rindu..Sentap dowh…tahu tak kata-kata ini ibarat pedang yang menghiris hati ini…cepat-cepat lari masuk toilet, kunci diri..nangis puas-puas…aduh, hina sangatkah kekurangan ku yang satu ini? Rasa kecil sangat dengan kekurangan diri..

"Kalah dah ko dgn si anu tu"...oh, ini ayat biasa bila orang yng kahwin kemudian dari kita tapi mengandung dahulu...adakah mempunyai anak dan beranak-pinak itu satu pertandingan? Yang dah ada satu perlu cepat-cepat tambah dua. yang dua kena dapat tiga hanya semata-mata supaya tidak kalah dengan kawan-kawan sekeliling...dan adakah dengan tidak mempunyai zuriat lagi, maka kami dilabel sebagai sebagai golongan yang kalah?

"Korang ni tak berusaha nak ada anak"...Usaha macam mana lagi makcik. Rasanya orang-orang TTC ni paling banyak kumpul petua nak dapat anak. Dari yang tradisional, moden, rawatan Islam semuanya kalau boleh dan berkemampuan, mesti kami cuba usahakan. Tapi takkan la kami nak cerita semua tu kat makcik kan...tak kan la setiap kali nak kena update status kat makcik...tu kan rahsia rumah tangga kami...x perlu la saya jelaskan lagi pada makcik yang lebih arif tentang ilmu agama kan....Yang pasti kami tahu rezeki itu perlukan usaha untuk mendapatkannya..takkan datang bergolek depan mata...tak kira lah rezeki apa pun... Penantian itu sudah cukup menyeksakan tapi kami pasrah yang rezeki kami belum tiba lagi...terus berusaha sambil mencari punca yang tidak pasti..

Tu belum lagi termasuk makcik2 yang suka sangat suruh2 pegang baby /anak orang dgn kata2 supaya berjangkit…aduh! Singkat betul fikiranmu makcik…Adakah anak itu sejenis virus yang boleh berjangkit2? Adakah dengan memegang atau mendukung baby tersebut boleh menyebabkan kami pregnant sekelip mata..bukankah ianya memerlukan hubungan antara suami dan isteri?

Firstly, I have no problems with what I am going through now…belajar menerima dan redha dengan apa yang dialami bukan mudah , tapi yang menjadikannya semakin sukar adalah sikap segelintir insan-insan di sekeliling yang seolah-olah menganggap apa yang kami alami adalah satu masalah besar dalam hidup mereka…menjadikan masalah kami adalah masalah mereka sehingga sanggup “memberi nasihat” tanpa mengira sama ada ianya menyinggung perasaan kami atau tidak...

Dan tak perlulah nak banding-bandingkan setiap orang itu. Ada yang rezekinya cepat dan ada rezekinya lambat dan mungkin ada yang tidak dikurniakan zuriat tapi rezekinya melimpah-ruah dalam aspek yang lain pula.

And please lah, Just because we all ni belum ada anak lagi, you all simply can say yang kitaorg ni byk duit sebab tak perlu nak spend untuk anak.  Mana u all tau kitaorg ni banyak duit ke tak? Something like,” U xpe la, xde anak lagi, bole blanja shopping suka hati, boleh spend holiday senang2”..I understand the highly cost of rising a child. But do you guys know that the cost of treatment and supplement what we are going through to have ONE BABY is a lot a lot higher than a cost of rising your CHILDREN..As much as you guys are willing to spend every single cents on your baby, we are willing to spend every single penny to get the baby...and we will continue spending every single penny when we have one...and juz imagine after spending let say RM10K for an IVF treatment, the result is negative…that is what some of us are facing. so, please don’t compare our expenses with yours coz actually it is nothing..

Ini hanya sebahagian saja contoh-contoh yang pernah dialami.banyak lagi kalau nak dikumpulkan kisah kawan-kawan yang sedang TTC ni. So, lepas ini tolonglah lebih memahami dan jangan lagi diajukan soalan2 yang sensitive  macam tu…faham, mungkin ada yang tak sengaja, takde niat pun nak menyinggung hati dan tak tau pun kata-kata macam tu boleh menyinggung perasaan orang lain...this is juzt my simple thought to share...

Friday, September 7, 2012

D12 FT

Day 12 FT was on 5 September 2012..

Result:

Right Ovary: 16.9 X 18mm & 12 X 10 mm

So, Dr. decide untuk cucuk Pregnyl (lebih kurang macam gambar kat bawah ni) X 2 which means 10000i.u.

Pregnyl 5000 IU 3x
sumber
  And have to BD for three consecutive days...

Hopefully, ada miracle yang menanti bulan hadapan...              

Monday, September 3, 2012

1st FT

Hari ni 1st time melalui Follicle Tracking (FT)

Hasilnya ada tiga follicle di ovari sebelah kanan

Result Day10:

Right Ovary: 14 x 15.6mm, 11.6 x 10mm and 6 x 5mm
Left Ovary: multiple small follicle..

Itu saja, will be continued FT on Day12

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Buah kurma dan susu kambing

Ini cubaan pertama setelah banyak membacanya daripada blog teman-teman...
Kebetulan ada makcik saudara yang baru pulang dari Mekah memberikan buah tangan kurma Nabi dan buah zuriat..
Katanya, buah kurma Nabi tu untuk dimakan bersama susu kambing...
So, memang dah biasa dengar di kalangan TTC mengenai khasiat kurma dengan susu kambing ni, tapi tak pernah nak cuba lagi..

Memandangkan yang bulan Ramadhan ni kami stop dari semua treatment moden, so we decide nak usaha dengan cara ni pulak..lebih-lebih lagi dalam keberkatan Ramadhan ni seolah-olah usaha tu sendiri yang datang mencari kami..

(sebab kami tak de pesan or kirim pada mak sedara tu walaupun sebenarnya ada terlintas di hati ni nak pesan buah zuriat tapi entahlah macam tak terkeluar dari mulut, maybe sebab masa tu ada ramai ahli family yang lain kot)

So, semalam sibuk la google resepinya dan kat mana nak cari susu kambing fresh...dua tiga supplier yang dihubungi bagitau tak de stok la, stop sekejap bulan ramadhan la, jauh sangat nak hantar la. In the end, rasa nak guna susu Hi-Goat je sebab baca ada teman-teman blogger yang guna susu tepung ni instead of susu fresh.. Alhamdulillah, akhirnya dapat hubungi seorang supplier wanita yang masih ada stok di rumahnya dan kebetulan pula dekat dengan ofis i ni...pada yang berminat boleh hubungi 0192753696 untuk lokasi sekitar putrajaya, bangi, serdang, kajang...I ambik 10 botol terus dengan harga RM65.00

Malam, lepas berbuka barulah menjalankan operasi ni. Blend 4 biji kurma (2 biji digenggam oleh saya dan 2 biji lagi digenggam oleh hubby) bersama sebotol susu kambing 250 ml. Disebabkan susu tu separuh beku dalam botol, so jadi macam ala-ala ice blended gitu...We all x campur apa-apa yang lain, tapi ada gak yang campur badam or kismis.

Then, minum sorang setengah dari cawan yang sama...Huhu, yang pasti rasanya sedap la jugak..manis-manis lemak gitu..lagipun i memang takde masalah nak minum susu. So, perancangan nya we all nak buat tiap-tiap malam, at least pun sampai abis 10 botol tu...

Insyaallah, moga ada rezeki kami nanti...





Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Please support the TTC suggestion for Budget 2013

Salam Ramadhan buat semua...


Cuma ingin memanjangkan cadangan/usul daripada sahabat kita dalam Budget 2013...dapat info ni daripada FB..


Saudari Nurul telah mencadangkan agar pasangan yg melalui fertility treatments dibolehkan untuk withdraw duit from EPF dan juga dapat tax relief.


I really think it is a good suggestion and we should all support the proposal..hopefully our PM akan pertimbangkan cadangan tersebut sebagai sebahagian daripada Budget 2013..Insya allah


Please go to https://www.google.com/moderator/#16/e=1fed26 search for "fertility"..then just like je pada dua-dua cadangan tersebut..


Mudah-mudahan usaha kita mendapat keberkatan sempena Ramadhan ini..



Thursday, July 12, 2012

Result HSG

Semalam appointment dgn Dr di Hospital Putrajaya...
to review about the HSG result...
of course masa nak pergi tu sangat mendebar-debarkan..
sebab dah tau ada yang tak kena (cuma masa tu tak tau masalahnya lagi)..

So, as been expected
Dr explained yang i ada 1 tiub je...
Yang sebelah kiri dah blocked langsung...
Aduh...
So, sekarang memang depends on sebelah je...
(dah rasa macam handicapped plak)

Then, sebagai tambahan yang agak menyedihkan..
Dr Rashidah tak silap namanya...
Dia kata ada harapan nak pregnant...
Tapi (ada tapinya)...ada risiko yang perlu aware..
Dr. kata 50% kalau i pregnant boleh miscarriage or premature birth...

Sedih gile dengar masa tu...Rasa macam berkecai-kecai setiap angan-angan I...
So, now i know the reason of my infertility...
Treatment just Dr bagi clomid untuk amik lepas bulan puasa nanti dan FT on day 10, 12 and 14..
And try to conceived naturally...

Rasa nak nangis pun ada masa tu..
Sib baik My Dear ada skali...
Dia lah yang menjadi motivator menceriakan mood i semula...
Yang paling best, lepas tu terus g Sunway Piramid...Shopping
Konon nak ceriakan hati i semula la...
Shopping the best medicine for stress~katanya la....

Tapi bila balik tinggal sendiri sbb hubby kerja malam...
Sedih sebab rasa diri ni tak sempurna untuk my dear...
Nangis lagi sorang-sorang....
Kenapa? Kenapa? Kenapa?

Hubby kata bukan I yang minta untuk jadi macam ni...
Dr boleh cakap je based on pengalaman dan pengetahuan dye...
Tapi tu semua kerja Tuhan..
Yang penting tugas kita adalah BD..let God do the rest...(so notty la my hubby ni~tapi serius ayat pujuk dye buat i gelak xjadi nangis)

Fikir balik, ada je yang pregnant walau dua-dua tiub blocked...
Still ada harapan...Insya allah...

Ok la sebagai penutup kita layan ni plak:~
http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Selfish

people are so easy on being selfish...
sedangkan i nak buat ape2 pun terfikir-fikir takut kecilkan hati kawan-kawan..
tapi orang senang-senang je fikir untuk diri sendiri tanpa kira perasaan aku...
duh..geram betul.....



kredit http://quizilla.teennick.com/poems/17181760/your-selfish-game

memang la kita tak boleh nak expect orang jadi macam kita tapi at least dont u have ur own consideration...
some people are so typical...


Neway, esok appointment Dr lagi..
nervous..
sangat takut dengan report HSG..
sebab dapat rasa ada yang tak kena...


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

People are jealous of us too




Being a TTC person actually has opened  me to another view of life...

As a TTC, we always envy of other's parenthood life..
We are jealous how easy some people can conceived (again..and..again)..
when we are struggling to get at least once..
We envy how their life seems perfect with kids around...
We always dream that we can have their life..

But do we realize...
That there are people who are also envy with our life..
A childfree life that we have (at least for the moment)...

They are envy on how much time we can have for ourselves..
How easy we can go for spa, salon, manicure, pedicure, shopping and the list go on
They are envy on how we can spend more intimacy time with our spouses (without interruption or tiredness)
They are jealous on how easy we can plan our vacation..anytime anywhere we wish..and we can travel easily..less hassle..less budgets...
They are jealous on how we can keep our house need, tidy and clean most of the time..
And some even jealous that we still look good and young at our age..

So, I think..
Every life has pro and con..
People are never satisfied with what they have..
And they will always compare their lives with others...
When we are envying on others..
In the same time..
They are envy of us...
So, where is the difference?
Is our life better that them?
Or theirs are better than us?

Hmmm..
I think most important..
Try to appreciate what you have..
Though it's not something that you want..
but it might be something that u need..


kredit here

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

me and kitchen catalog


Hehehe..mood tersengih-sengih...Nampak tak gambar kat bawah tu?
Bukan...bukan..tu bukan gambar rumah saya..
Gambar ni dari katalog adik saya..

Oh ye, adik lelaki saya ni dye ID....
tapi sekarang dye concentrate untuk buat bisnes kitchen cabinet and wardrobe...
Design and build..
Alhamdulillah sekarang dah setahun lebih kilang dye beroperasi..

So, ni katalog terbaru yang die baru print...
Tiba-tiba ada nama i kat situ...(oops..pecah rahsia dah!)
Hehehe...sesuai plak dengan design yg memang taste i kan...
Bile i tanya nape pilih this design untuk nama I..
dye kata sebab i sorg yg suka ada kaunter macam ni (means in our family), nanti senang nak ingat..
my mum suka konsep dapur yang lapang dan luas..
Actually my kitchen ada kaunter macam ni gak cuma designnya lain la..

hehehe...bangga bila ada orang abadikan kita for something...
tak kira lah untuk dapur pun jadilah...
Thanx bro..



Thursday, June 14, 2012

Cerita FB


FB kadang-kadang memang menjadi tempat yang sangat sensitif pada TTC.


Dengan mengabaikan gambar baby yang comel ni, kita concentrate pada perbualan FB disebelahnya...
Baby ni anak kepada cousin my hubby..(yang storynya kat sini)...
Oh ya, sejak kejadian raya haji tu memang i malas nak pegi umah makcik my hubby ni...
Ada la sekali terjumpa they all ni masa kat umah my MIL...
Makcik ni plak antara siblings yang very close dengan my MIL...of coz masa tu dye datang dengan anak cucu menantu sume..
But, i buat tak nampak je baby tu...pegang pun tak..even my hubby dukung n dok sebelah i pun, i cebik je..
Tak hingin i!
I know baby tu tak salah...tapi i meluat dengan nenek dye tu...macam la dye sorang je dalam dunia ni ada menantu dan ada cucu..(walau pun dalam hati eee, geramnye,comelnye..)

In fact i dont have problems dengan baby...selalu je i "pinjam" Felicia and Danish (anak my 2nd SIL yang bongsu) or babysit my lovely cikibambam (anak my 2nd brother and 1st grandchild in my family)..
In fact kalau anak-anak my bff pun very close dengan i, sebab i aunty yang paling baik...hehehe...and i love them all..
Tapi tidak pada yang satu ni...bukan i tak rasa nak peluk dukung cium tapi i takut nanti i akan jadi "bahan"...

Biasalah dalam FB, my closed friends or sis/bro akan selalu gak tag gambar anak-anak they all kat i n hubby..My bff, si A tu suka tag i dengan cthnya:- "hye aunty, lama tak jumpa, bile nak datang rumah?" then letak gambar anak dye sebab dye tau bile i tgk gambar rayyan, mesti i terkinja-kinja nak g umah dye..confirm the next weekend i mesti sampai punya!

So, ceritanya cousin hubby ni telah men'tag' hubby i dan beberapa lagi sanak saudara dalam fb gambar anak buah dye ni, and my hubby plak tag i dalam gambar ni...actually perbualan tu sangat biasa, kalau orang-orangnya adalah yang biasa-biasa dengan kita...tak ada apa yang akan buat i tersinggung...tapi dalam kes ni memang dah jadi lain...

A few minutes after i komen tu, my hubby text i..

Hubby: U ni kenapa komen macam tu?
Me     : Saje..
Hubby: Gunalah akal sikit..semua orang boleh baca kot..
Me     : Guna akal lah tu, memang nak they all tu baca..dah abis sopan dah i komen..
Hubby: Nape nak buat camtu..please, tolong delete..
Me     : Sebab U** suka menyinggung hati i, biarlah...xkan xble i nak singgung hati dye plak..tu pun kalau      dye reti nak terasa...
Hubby: Dah perangai dye macam tu, takkan kita pun nak ikut jadi cam tu plak..Please, tolong lah delete...
Me     : Bagi i setengah jam, baru i delete..


Hahaha...i tau they all baca...sebab komen i tu yang last...takde sambungan...stop kat situ je..
Hehehe..patut lah....ada masa memang best menyakitkan hati orang ni..ada rasa kepuasan kat situ...patutlah they all suka sakitkan hati i...


***HSG dah buat hari Isnin lepas, tapi result akan tahu masa appointment Dr. pada 11 Julai nanti...




Follow by Email