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Sunday, August 18, 2013

The TTC Journey

Being in this journey..there is a lot to learn and learned..
Something that is not been taught in other ways...something that you won't learn if you are not walking in this shoes..
It teaches me to be patient over time..
It teaches me to be pleased and resigned..
It teaches me to forgive when the only thing I want is to revenge..
It teaches me to be strong when the only thing I feel is vulnerable..
It teaches me never give up when the only thing I faced is obstacles and failures..
It teaches me to keep moving when everything is against me..
It teaches me it's ok to cry and it doesn't mean I am weak..
It teaches me that no matter how much i want to trust everyone but sometimes something is better to be kept secret...
It teaches me it's ok to be different, to feel jealous, to feel irritiated and annoyed and that doesn't mean I am bad..eventually it will faded away..

My experience in TTC journey..



First year of marriage...
Is when everything started...
People still treats you as newly-wed..
And you are still in honeymood mood.. and adaption stage into marriage life..
People will start to ask you the precious question.. it's because people are so eager to know the next of your wedding story..lucky enough if you are pregnant by this time but that doesn't mean the questions will stop there...
And you still feel ok about it and still can smile..because most of the time it just for the sake of asking...





Walking into the second year of marriage..
Peoples start to become more concern of your childless marriage..
The questions will be more frequent...
And this time it starts to play with your emotion..
Sometimes the questions is added with tips and advise..
Sometimes the questions are cynical..
Not because of concern but more to tease the couple..
Sometime you feel like you don't want to get out from your house..don't want to meet other peoples cause they tend to hurt you with their words and talks..
You started to avoid attending parties and gathering or other social events..You feel sadness in your heart because you can't be just as normal and simple as it supposed to be..married and get pregnant in over night..
You started to feel that the world is against you..You feel hurt because you can't have what other people have..
But do you realize? Do you feel sad because you really do? Or is it because other people's words that put you into the situation? Because people keep asking you, teasing you, comparing you, keep pushing you that makes you think you must have one because that will be considered normal...People's around you kind of hypnotized you to believe it is wrong for not getting pregnant immediately after your wedding..

Second year is the vulnerable time..Year two is a year of tears..Sometime it continues to year three or fourth..
Most of the time the wife will get the most emotion torture..tears will be her best mate..
The husband's role is important to support his wife..
My advise is never let their words over rule your emotion..




Entering the forth year of marriage..
The nightmare still continues..
Worst when there are couples who are married after you started to produce their products..
And people starts to compare you..
But this time you have become more matured on how to handle the situation..
You already know how to encounter the cynical questions..
You know how to answer and bash them back...
Most important, you will not let them put down on you..
You will not let their words and talks over rule your emotions any more..
You will not let their concerns bothers you..
You know you are alright with the situation and nothing is wrong with it..
The only wrong thing is letting other people influenced your life, thought and emotion about it..
And eventually..you don't even give a damn about what people want to talk or say about you..and you feel great about it..

Years to come..
People stop subjecting you as point for talk of the town..It's either because they have found a new subject and yours is already out of season or they just don't bother anymore..they are tired for asking you questions that they actually know there is no answer for it..
They will stop asking you...no more harsh questions..no more cynical questions..they just stop..
That is the cycle of TTC..

Most important is...how to handle and face the situation..how positive you are to encounter the people..how good you are at facing the obstacles..never ever allow or let other people hurts you no matter how hard they try..
And remember..this journey will never make them better than you or otherwise..
It just give you different and prestigious experience..

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