Ketika Cinta Terhenti

Aku dah penat

Aku dah letih

Menyelusuri hari

Demi mengemis setitis kasih

Yang aku sendiri tahu bukan milikku

Ketika harapan yang tercipta

Bukan untukku

Seharusnya aku berhenti

Dari terus bermimpi

Mengejar fantasi

Tapi

Mengapa hati ini

Seakan memungkiri diri sendiri

Demi

Sebuah hakikat yang telah pasti

Pergilah angan

Lenyaplah kenangan

Aku bukan lagi permaisuri

Bagi sebuah ceritera cinta

Dalam kisah dongengnya

Sesungguhnya

Ketika Cinta terhenti

Dan

Aku sendiri memang sedari

Cuma sekeping hati yang enggan mengakui

Lalu

Rawanku bertambah duka

Hati kecilku semakin terluka

Pada sebuah pengasingan emosi

Yang hanya memakan diri

Berhentilah di persimpangan itu

Kasihanilah hatimu

Kerana

Cinta itu sudah lama terhenti

SUNYI...

Tadi dah hantar adik balik asrama...dah masuk 2 minggu dye stay kat asrama...
kali ni tak dapat nak halang kehendak dye..terpaksa gak we all (termasuk my parents) tunaikan permintaan dye nak merasa belajar di asrama..
Adik pun dah besar...tapi bagi kami dye tetap adik kecil kami...of coz berat hati nak lepaskan dye...nasib baik sekolah baru dye tak jauh sangat...
"Adik kol tau kalau tak cukup makan, kalau ade orang buli kol akak tau!" "Nanti weekend akak datang" "Kalau tak cukup duit, kol akak tau","Nanti weekend akak hantar makanan" dan macam2 lagi lah pesanan...Rasenya mesti adik a little bit annoyed dengan karenah aku tue...hahaha..I know I'm being too much

Sampai rumah, masuk bilik, duduk atas katil....termenung...
Sunyinye adik takde...Bosannya bile adik takde...Takde kawan....
Dan diam-diam airmata ni bergenang...
Macam ni kot adik rase masa aku dok jauh dulu...teringat balik cite mak adik nangis sepanjang perjalanan dari UUM ke Penang setiap kali hantar aku. Masa tu adik kecik lagi, umur dye dalam 3-4 tahun camtu..
Kali ni adik yang masuk asrama, dan aku pulak yang menangis..

Aku menangis sebab terasa betapa cepatnya masa berlalu...
Aku menangis sebab terasa betapa segala-galanya dah berubah dengan begitu pantas sekali...
Aku menangis sebab tetiba rase rindu kat arwah Yai....(time ni la tetiba nak tertengok gambar Yai masa bukak laci kabinet buku tadi)
Aku menangis sebab eventually sume orang dah ada life sendiri and eventually too will leave me alone and lonely...Family, Friends, Hubby..

Yup, rumah besar ni dah tak ade serinya...Dah tak macam dulu...
Mungkin dengan kehadiran cucu ayah dan mak yang pertama nanti
dapat mengembalikan keceriaan dan keriuhan yang ada dulu..

I hate drastic changes but life must go on..

Dan hari ini, Tuhan masih lagi belum tunaikan permintaan ku yang satu itu...

I LOVE.....

I love the songs you dedicate to me

I love when I tell you my problems and you hold me and let me know everything will be okay

I love how strong you are and the fact that you think I'm strong

I love that we're going on three years together even though we've been married ever since we met

I love how you support me in everything I do and every decision I make

I love when you kiss me on my forehead then kiss my lips and give me a hug before you leave

I love when you hold me tight when we watch a movie

I love when you call me weird when I act silly

I love that you're my first love and I'm yours

I love that you call me just to see how my day is going

I love how I can be myself around you

I love the cute nickname you call me

I love waking up in your arms

I love the ring you bought me because it means so much to me

I love how when we argue we don't stay mad for long

I love that we're best friends

I love how you think I look even better when my hair is messed up

I love it when you say I'm the prettiest, sexiest girl in the world

I love that if the girl's not me then you don't want her

I love how you know no one will ever compare to me

I love the time we spend together

I love it when you say you are the luckiest man in the world

I love when you call me your babygirl

I love when you mess with my hair when we kiss

I love when you hold me

I love being in your arms

I love that you tell me sweet dreams and that you love me before we get off the phone at night

I love when you say you love me with all of your heart

I love how you think my body's perfect

I love the new things you've opened me up to

I love getting lost in your eyes

I love how I can talk to you about any and everything

I love when we talk about our future

I love that we have proven that we can get through anything

I love how you always try to make everything a surprise

I  love that you say 'kiss' when you want one

I love the secrets we keep between us

I love when you call me perfect

I love your maturity but I also love how you can be a big kid

I love your sense of humor

I love when you looked at me that one time and said 'wow'

I love that your family refers to me as an in-law

I love the fact that I know there is no one like you

I love how we know each other inside and out

I love how you only listen to music that has a message and not all that nonsense

I love how you don't care about what anyone thinks of you

I love how you never paid attention to the really special things about girl until you met me

I love that you never settle for less

I love how my feelings for you keep getting stronger each day

Even though I hate it, I love when we argue you sarcastically say, "yeah Baby, your always right"

I love that when you're at work, you work harder because you think about the things you want to do for me

Even though I don't understand how you do it, I love how you don't get stressed about the biggest situation

I love how we balance each other out

I love that you are passionate about what you love

I love how we only get stronger each day

I love how we stare at each other like we're in our own little world

I love how every time you walk past me you touch me

I love how you feel like you can still show me off in sweats and sloppy hair

I love that if I continue to tell you more of what I love, it will be too long to read...

So I'm done, I love you.

~this poem was written down and dedicated to my fiance (whom now is my dearest hubby) in early years of our engagement~